Sunday, January 02, 2005
The Power of Positive Posting

A new year calls for at least one hopeful post before I get back to our regularly-scheduled bitchy snark. People have said a few times that my blog is "too negative"... which, I mean, yeah, that's a big part of the point. This blog is a catharsis for me; in my daily life I am (I feel justified in saying) resolutely optimistic and cheerful, easygoing, relaxed, et cetera. But being human, I've got my share of negativity, which comes out in two ways: sick jokes and rants on this blog.

But okay, fair enough... a little positivity isn't an unfair request. And really, I'm feeling pretty hopeful about the coming year. Most of the people I know have had to deal with a lot of heaviness and darkness over the last few years -- lost jobs, lost loves, sickness, death, poverty, and the constant, low-level grind of living in this society at this point in history -- but eventually, this too must pass. I'm not expecting explosive improvements this year; but I am looking forward to some progress, a general lifting of the gloom to make way for dramatic progress later on.

Now... time to share.

My New Year's Eve festivities generally center on reflection rather than drinking; I have my little assortment of things I do to facilitate quiet thought. The idea is to spend the last hour of the year looking back, and the first hour of the new year casting my hopes forward. I find it much more rewarding than getting smashed (although a glass of something that sparkles is always a welcome addition.) I don't exactly make "resolutions." I think the whole idea of resolving to do this or that is self-defeating; change is a process, not an act. I've found over the last few years that if I simply express and record my hopes for the coming year -- by which I mean my intentions regarding those things I actually have power over -- most often I can come back the next year to find that they've mostly taken care of themselves. Case in point, my hopes/intentions for 2004:

1) To recover some of my French (which I managed, clearing a vocabulary of roughly 2500 words, although I've forgotten a lot of them by now.)

2) To improve my diet (which I also managed, although god knows there's always room for more improvement.)

3) To work on moving to Montreal (I'm giving myself credit for this one... I'm not moving to Montreal specifically, but in a couple of weeks I'll be moving within a few hours drive of it; close enough.)

4) To make a film of my own (this is the one I screwed up on.)

Three out of four isn't too bad. I expect it's better than most people manage, and not a bad year's accomplishment, in its simple little way.

Other good things that happened that I didn't ask for:

I made a few new friends, good friends, valuable friends -- Dave, Diana, a bunch of Co-op folks -- and re-discovered some others (hi Shaw).

I found a way out of the sucking vortex of apathy and inertia that is Memphis, Tennessee.

And although I didn't manage to direct my own film yet, I did a bunch of film work this year -- I had major roles in the crews of three features, even if none of 'em are the ones going to Sundance this year.

So what am I hoping for in 2005?

1) To focus on finishing old business, laying a foundation for new possibilities.

2) To continue developing a new way to live my life.

3) To do a phenomenal job on my upcoming academic work.

4) To get to a place where I feel more confident and self-assured.

5) To make a film of my own (hey, the only failure is in giving up.)

So I guess we'll see what happens with all that, eh?

And I'd love to hear everyone else's hopes for the year... I've shown you mine, now you show me yours.
1:26 AM ::
Amy :: permalink