Monday, October 17, 2005
The Making of a Duggar

Ahhhh... now I get it. Now I understand why I've gotten so many hits on this post lately.

Mom delivers 16th child, thinking of more

LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas (AP) -- Michelle Duggar just delivered her 16th child, and she's already thinking about doing it again.

Johannah Faith Duggar was born at 6:30 a.m. Tuesday and weighed 7 pounds, 6.5 ounces.

The baby's father, Jim Bob Duggar, a former state representative, said Wednesday that mother and child were doing well. Johannah's birth was especially exciting because it was the first time in eight years the family has had a girl, he said.


Seriously, it must be like shooting hoops at this point. Swish! Nothing but net.

My general philosophy on reproduction is that every human being on earth has a fundamental right to replace themselves. A straight one-to-one replacement may not be the best idea, especially for first-world families and especially when there are so many unloved children in need of homes (although admittedly the vast majority of them are brown, which amazingly seems to take them out of the running for a lot of good, Christian, white homes)... but still, the principle remains: I won't ever criticize anyone for having enough children to replace the parents. Generally that means two kids; for remarriages and so on, it might mean one or two more.

And I won't really criticize families that have a few more. I think it's very sub-optimal for one couple to have four kids, but hell, I don't expect everyone to live according to my principles.

But some families just get ridiculous.

Memo to the Duggars: there are enough of you now. Seriously. Stop. Those of us who are attempting to be rational and responsible about reproduction are sitting here watching you ruin our efforts to make the world a better place for our children (and your children, and everybody else's children.) At my count, by now you've ruined things for me and thirteen other people just like me. I'm starting to take it personally.

I'm sorry children, but me mind's made up, and it's to be medical experiments for the lot of you.

PS: Just by way of being vulgar about it, I'd like to direct everyone's attention to this miracle of bad Asian filmmaking. I call it, "The Making of a Duggar."

(Holy shit! A vagina with kung-fu grip and lightning bolts?! Why didn't Spielberg ever think of that? Definitely not safe for work, but completely worth the effort once you get home. Fuck it, I wanna do a re-make.)
10:35 AM ::
Amy :: permalink