Friday, December 09, 2005
That Gratifying Sense Of Accomplishment

Yesterday I dropped the last little pieces into my film. It's all done now -- there are things I could tweak after I get back to Memphis, but at the moment I'm thinking it's about time to abandon this project (in the sense that Valèry used that word, of course.) It's tricky to find a balance between competing aspects of my own irrational response to the film -- my tendency towards harsh self-criticism on one side and giddiness over the accomplishment on the other -- so I'm trying to let my neutral intellect make the call. The final screening is tonight, though, and a word from any random stranger could still shift the balance one way or the other. I'm feeling very vulnerable today; nobody outside a tiny, trusted circle has seen it, but tonight a hundred or so people I barely know will be gawking at my cinematic baby.

Though, let's face it, they probably won't care that much either way.

Anyway, in an effort to grind down the edge of my neurosis a bit and soften the impact of the first screening, I'll consider opening that tiny circle just a little wider. If anybody wants to see this film, drop me a note at the email address in the contact box and I'll send you a URL. If I decline to do so, it's because I don't know who the hell you are and don't trust you, or because I intend to send you a high-quality hard copy at some point and don't want to ruin it with a lo-res mpeg.

I should also point out that the credit for whatever is good about this film is not solely mine to claim -- the cast and crew get their share as well. But more significantly, the sound designer / composer gave this film a great deal of its life. I'll let him reveal himself in the comments if he's so inclined. Suffice to say, he did a phenomenal job with which I am deliriously happy. In retrospect, he was the only person for it -- I'm only glad enough I was brave enough to ask.

So, I'm done. I know I've said that maybe half a dozen times in the last couple of weeks, but this time it's really true. I'm taking pristine copies of my thesis to the registrar and librarian today, and then there's nothing to do but pack and wait for my orals. I'm out of here as of Wednesday morning, one more thousand-mile drive through the Appalachians, then back to whatever waits for me in Memphis.

But I'll be back in May to wear a silly hat.
10:04 AM ::
Amy :: permalink
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