Friday, March 24, 2006Friday Dork Blogging, Part 2
I have faith, my brothers and sisters.
I have faith that the world will be a better place in the future. I have faith that we will finally drag Red America kicking and screaming into the 21st century. I have faith that in spite of the tsunami of lies and bullshit they hurl at us, we will succeed in creating an America that is just, enlightened, and multi-orgasmic.
How can I believe these things? Given the fetid swamp of corruption, war-mongering, dishonesty, hatred, and repression through which we are all forced to wade chin-deep, what makes me so sure that somewhere ahead there's a grassy bank of liberty awaiting our arrival?
I know this, because the goth kids are going to rule the world. (I, for one, welcome our new goth overlords.)
I know this because all the whiny little motherfuckers on the playground grew up to be conservatives.
I know this because refusing to say something doesn't make it any less true.
I know this because they'll implode from the pressure of their own hypocrisy sooner or later.
I know this because they've been reduced to fighting over sock puppets.
I know this because they have already sown the seeds of their own destruction.
I know this because we're the ones with the fucking lasers.
So have faith; we shall indeed overcome. Anyone could see this happy ending coming a mile away (and it only costs a little extra.)
(Was all that too much reading and not enough shaving of Frenchmen? Okay, fine, have it your way.) |