Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Boring Wednesday Afternoon

I think my eyesight is starting to decline. Not much, not yet -- but I've noticed that text is starting to go a bit blurry at a distance. The first time I noticed it was during hay fever season, and I thought maybe my eyes were just a little irritated and teary (though honestly, allergies are rarely a problem for me, so that was probably just grasping at any explanation apart from the obvious.) But then it kept happening, and then I noticed that if I squint, the text will usually resolve itself a little more cleanly. Which leads me to think it's not so much a question of irritation as of declining vision. And then, while shooting some video footage this last weekend, I noticed that using the eyepiece has become a little harder -- I was having to pull back to check my focus. Bother.

It's all a bit ironic, since as a kid I desperately wanted glasses -- how much nerdier can you get? And now that I'm looking at the possibility of actually needing them one day, I don't want 'em anymore. I'm not to the point of needing them yet -- I can still read small text at a distance of several feet with no real problem. It's just that I'm having to rely on the shapes of whole words rather than individual letters these days. My right eye is definitely having a harder time than my left one.

And there's absolutely no denying that I'm going grey now. I know you can't see it yet, but then that's what the box of hair color is for.

Goddammit.

Yesterday I went to the library and checked myself out 1500 pages of light reading. (Seriously, I added it up and it came to exactly 1500 pages on the nose.) That means I have to read at least 100 pages per day to even entertain a hope of finishing them all. It's actually only three books: A Country of Strangers by David Shipler; Freethinkers: A History of American Secularism by Susan Jacoby; and How the Mind Works by Steven Pinker. (See, Greensmile? I told you I'd get to it.) I'm also attemtping to request, via interlibrary loan (because there's no fucking way any of these are available in the north Mississippi library system) The Blind Watchmaker by Richard Dawkins; The Trials of Lenny Bruce by Ronald Collins; and Sure Seaters: The Emergence of Arthouse Cinema by Barbara Wilinsky. (That last one is the one I really needed six months ago, when I was finishing up my thesis. I lost half a grade because I didn't have enough on the history of arthouse cinemas, on which surprisingly little is written. I finally found this book exactly four days before my thesis was due, and I tried to frantically order it from Amazon, but they were slow on the uptake and I missed my opportunity. So it's all Amazon.com's fault that I only got a B+.)

So I guess we'll see how all that goes. I'm not exactly holding my breath.

Anyway, here's somthing amusing for a dull afternoon: backwards movies. For example:

Titanic

An enormous iron ship surges up from the vast depths of the ocean in order to save a large number of people who are inexplicably, and somewhat foolishly, floundering in the water near an iceburg. It then kindly takes them back to Southampton.

The Matrix

After a long day of beating people up in videogames, neo gets a sleeping pill from a black guy in sunglasses so that he can wake up in time for his boring office job in the morning.

The Passion of the Christ

A man awakens to find himself nailed to a cross without knowing how he got there, possibly after heavy drinking. Of course he is let down shortly after and the Romans tend to his wounds with a whip of +5 healing after he helped them get the cross back to storage. They parade him in front of a crowd as thanks, before re-arresting a criminal who had been mistakenly released in the man's place, despite the consternation of the crowd. He walks away with some of his friends, one of them lies about having said he didn't know him.

He gets to the peaceful garden of Gethsemane guided by Jewish escort and one of the man's friends leaves with them after kissing him goodbye, as per the custom.

The man cries to the lord about how he doesn't want to face agony for his divine plan. The Lord say k, n prblm. The guys friends go to sleep because it's been a long fucking day

My modest contributions:

My Dinner With Andre: Wallace Shawn takes a taxi to a restaurant, arriving simultaneously with Andre Gregory. Andre talks about all the stuff he's never done and how monotonous his life is as they both repeatedly vomit into their plates. Wallace Shawn becomes increasingly relaxed and sure of his place in the world. Then Andre leaves, Wallace hangs around for a few minutes longer, and then he leaves too.

Amadeus: Antonio Salieri rescues the near-retarded Mozart from the brink of death by curing his tuberculosis and teaching him how to compose music. Amadeus hooks up with a random single mother, conquers his drinking and gambling habits, practices a lot, and composes a few pretty good operas. Salieri is really pleased for him.

Babe, Pig in the City: Babe ships a lot of helpless animals off to an animal testing facility. He then turns Mrs. Hogget in to the DEA and heads back to the farm where he pulls Farmer Hoggett out of a well, only to push him back down again.

C'mon, join in, it's fun!
11:26 AM ::
Amy :: permalink
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