Thursday, June 15, 2006

As I was falling asleep last night, in that pleasantly surreal quasi-dreamstate that produces some of my best ideas, a random thought occurred to me:

You know what you never see anymore? Monocles.

Why doesn't anyone wear monocles anymore? If there was ever a good reason to wear one in the first place, surely that reason still exists today. If the cover of New Yorker Magazine, the Monopoly box, and Mr. Peanut are any indication, there was a time when all the most fabulous people wore monocles. But never in my life have I seen a real person seriously wearing a real monocle; every other fashion affectation has come around again since the 30s except raccoon fur coats and the stately monocle. Has human physiology and need really changed that much? Is there nobody alive today with lens-correctable vision problems in only one eye? Does EyeMasters have a secret monocle department (ready in about half an hour?)

Seriously, this is bugging me. Monocles inhabit a strange space in the culture -- unlike, say, an Elizabethan neck ruffle, they're too practical to be strictly about fashion; but they're too absurd to be strictly utilitarian. You can still go out and buy a velvet top hat or a waistcoat or a tux with tails, but god help the man searching for a quality monocle.

I'm away for the rest of the afternoon, and whenever I do get back, this most recent Firefox update is crashing its ass off (I'm writing this on Explorer, which I loathe) so that'll keep me busy. Y'all just talk amongst yourselves -- whoever posts the most unexpected comment gets a cookie.
10:21 AM ::
Amy :: permalink