Monday, June 05, 2006
Pro-Gay Marriage Amendment

Y'know what I think? I think for a pre-determined period of time -- say, ten years -- only gay couples should be able to get married.

Now, I admit that I'm not a traditionalist where marriage is concerned -- in as much as, I'm basically against marriage as a concept. If you'd grown up around some of the marriages I did, you'd be wedding-shy, too. I'm one of the vast army of Gen-Xers who can attest to first-hand knowledge of how destructive hetersexual marriage can be; I'm one of those peculiar people who'd have been considerably better off (and certainly no worse off) without a father in the home, or at least without my specific father. I'm one of those who believes that homosexuals can't possibly do harm to "the sanctity of marriage" because the straights have done an impressively thorough job of fucking it up already. No queer meddling necessary.

So I'm sayin', maybe we should give the fags and dykes a chance to get right what we have continually gotten wrong. I'd genuinely like to see what they do with it: strip it down, start from scratch, a complete overhaul from top to bottom. I'd like to see what happens when people live in a marriage without ingrained gender roles, without pre-determined social roles, and without having to carry centuries worth of accumulated legal baggage. I think the best gift our GLBT brothers and sisters could give the straight population would be a complete marriage makeover -- please, queer guys, come re-do my tired social institutions. Throw out my 18th century mental wardrobe and dress me in marital haute couteur. Show me how this whole marriage-and-family thing should really be done -- not in drab puritan greys and browns, but vibrant, joyful humanist rainbow colors.

Think of the benefits: a ten-year moratorium on straight marriage might slow down our national birthrate a little (and without the need for abortion!), or at least slow down the birthrate among fundamentalists and other "traditional marriage" types. That alone would be enough to sell me on the idea. And while we heterosexuals take a breather from the busy-bee work of gettin' hitched and grunting out biblically-sanctioned offspring, we could get some counselling, do a little personal work. Ten years would be enough time for a generation of young women to pursue their educations or fulfilling careers without the pressures of motherhood. Ten years would be enough time to maybe figure out how to deal with the food/air/water/energy/global warming issues that threaten the wellbeing of all our future offspring. Ten years would be long enough for people to get used to the idea that love in any form is a better option than fear and hate.

And when those ten years were up, we could glut ourselves on well-planned, well-designed weddings where all the bridesmaids wore fabulous gowns and all the groomsmen knew how to tie their own ties. Tell me that wouldn't be an improvement.


PS: Anyone else catch the irony of the Bush administration saying that gay sex is bad and a threat to western civilization, unless it takes place in involuntary, militarily-mandated, simulated form between imprisoned brown people -- in which case it's totally cool, and probably necessary to national security?


"GOOD"


"EVIL"


Hmmmm... must just be me.
4:38 PM ::
Amy :: permalink
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