Monday, August 06, 2007
Progress, Slow

I'm going to try to sneak a post in from work -- my boss is off somewhere else and my desk is, as always, empty, so I might as well.

In spite of the brutal heat yesterday, I still forced myself to sort through another batch of old boxes. The weeding-out process is getting hard now -- I'm getting into stuff that's already been weeded out once before, and it's all been stored under better conditions for a shorter time, so it's in better shape. Thus, there are fewer items that obviously belong in the pitch pile. Even so, I managed to haul another couple of boxes of books off to Goodwill, so I figure it's still an acceptable day's work. There are a few things sitting in limbo, though. I'm thinking about collecting them together and then running a poll here on the blog about what I should keep and what I should get rid of.

For instance, I found my old leather jacket. I got it second-hand at an army surplus for my 13th birthday (when a leather bomber jacket seemed like a necessary thing to have, I guess), and wore it fairly frequently during junior high. Amazingly I can still just about get into it, and it's in decent shape all things considered. But more than that, I have a sentimental attachment to it. I can still find where I wrote the initials of boys I liked in tiny, tiny letters just inside the cuff. It's one of only a few personal possessions I still have from that period in my life. It's very much a reminder of who I was back then.

On the other hand, what, like I'm going to wear it? Like it's ever going to do anything more than hang in my closet? Like some other dorky kid might not be able to use it and make it a part of his/her adolescent identity? (I know, I pity that kid too... ) So what the hell do I do with stuff like this? It meant something to me once, but I haven't even laid eyes on it in the best part of a decade, so obviously it doesn't mean much to me now. When does something stop being a keepsake, and start being just another bit of crap I'm hanging on to for no useful reason?

There are also things I failed to do this weekend: I failed to study as much as I wanted to, and I failed utterly to make any progress on the film. I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm not going to finish everything I want to in the seven weeks left before I pack up and leave, and I'm wondering what's going to be the thing that doesn't get done. The packing obviously has to happen or I'm not going anywhere; the certification is also a reasonably sure thing since I'm not terribly far off now, and it's something with a finite conclusion -- I can just do it and be done.

That means the film is the likely candidate to fall short of my pre-move aspirations, since it's so time-consuming and open-ended. It would really, really be best if I had all my footage digitized and rendered and safely organized on my hard drive before I leave; it would be better still if I could get a trailer done as well. The last week before I go is devoted to getting my life ready for transport; and I'll need about two weeks to cut a trailer. That means I've got four weeks to get the footage ready for work. Theoretically it's possible -- my estimate is that it would take about 15 hours per week to get that lot done. On the other hand, I've been working on it for about three weeks already, and I've only got about a third of my footage digitized, and none of it rendered. The problem is (and I hope the MTC people aren't reading this) I have absolutely no idea where I'm going to find the computing power to edit once I'm in Portland -- I don't own an editing machine of my own and can't afford to buy one just now. So I'm trying to prepare with an eye towards nothing getting done on the film for a couple of months after I move (which is a likely outcome even if I do have a machine to edit on, since I'll have all of that life/job/place to live stuff to sort out first.)

I wouldn't say I'm worried about any of this -- there are no firm deadlines apart from those I impose upon myself, and nobody's making any demands. There are no penalties if I fail. So let's just say it lays some weight on my mind.

And it seems that recently I just can't get enough sleep. Not that I'm sleeping badly -- I get my 8 hours of mostly uninterrupted slumber -- but it's never quite enough. Dragging myself out of bed in the morning has become painful; my body always wants more rest. Even the days when I can sleep as long as I want, the days when I put in ten or eleven hours, I still get up only because to pass the 12-hour mark seems unseemly, not because I couldn't do it if I wanted to.

Not a very interesting blog post, I'm afraid -- I'm right in the middle of the quiet, industrious period before everything starts to happen. I'm gathering my momentum, building up the potential energy I'll need to break Memphis' insidious gravitational pull. You know how it is.
12:10 PM ::
Amy :: permalink