Thursday, September 20, 2007
A Growing Sense Of Dread

So, here I am, my last day of work. I brought cake for the entire department -- homemade, from scratch, one chocolate and one apple cider. I know, I'm such a little suck-up.

I need to be studying, really -- my second A+ exam is tomorrow, and while I feel pretty confident, I also felt reasonably confident last time, and while it turned out okay, I'm not really okay with just "okay." But studying is boring, especially when you've already read the material three or four times. And the blog's been getting the worst of the neglect lately, so this'll do to fill in thirty minutes or so of my last day.

I've been feeling a little unnerved about all the tasering that seems to be going on lately. Not about any case in particular -- the kid at the Kerry speech didn't deserve to be tasered, but I can't claim to have enormous sympathy for him, either. Frankly, he seemed like kind of a douchebag. I feel a lot worse about the autistic kid who got nailed, or the wheelchair-bound schizophrenic who was tasered to death. Who'd have guessed that having a "non-lethal" weapon might be just the excuse the cops needed to get over their reluctance to use pain to control people?

I admit it, I have a bad attitude about the police. I'm the person that every cop swears doesn't exist: I'm a law-abiding citizen with no criminal background of any kind, who strongly dislikes and mistrusts the police. I don't dislike all cops -- I've met one or two who were okay. I try to give cops, like everyone else, the benefit of the doubt (though I admit that my defenses go up when I find out someone's a cop, and they're slow to come back down.) But the vast majority of them have been bullies and abusive fuckheads. The average cop always seems to be one political decree away from jackboots and teargas. What kind of person would even be attracted to that kind of job? Who would ever want to spend their days mired in conflict, wrestling people to the ground? I don't trust them.

But I also realize that the seemingly-intensifying aggressiveness of the police is likely just a symptom of a larger pattern. But it's hard to put my finger on it -- it's more a feeling of growing tension than anything as concrete as an increase in tasering. Things feel ugly and mean; it worries me. I think we all know that things are about to change again -- I hope for the better this time -- but I wonder if there might be one last nasty outburst before we get there.

Anyway, I'm not going to bore you with the further details of my moving preparations. But if you're into that kind of thing, it happens that my new prose hero is also moving, and he writes about it much better than I do.

PS: And if cops love tasers, you know they're going to jizz in their pants over this monstrous piece of shit.
11:30 AM ::
Amy :: permalink