Monday, September 10, 2007
Potential, Some Unrealized

I finally sat down and properly commenced to edit the MTC film trailer tonight. I mean, I've made the odd cut already, but I'd set it on the back burner until this week so I could focus on more pressing needs. And I didn't spend a huge amount of time on it tonight -- and hour and a half maybe -- but I rough cut about thirty seconds. I only expect it to be three minutes long or so when it's done, so getting a sixth of that roughed out isn't a bad evening's work.

Even so, this is exactly the point in the process where I hate everything. This is where I give in to despair, shake my fists at the sky, and berate myself for being such a craptacular filmmaker. And the honest truth is that this film, while it will get a lot better before I'm done, isn't the film that will demonstrate the full extent of what I can do. I just didn't have the time or resources to do that kind of work -- for one thing, I was shooting alone, and if this project has taught me anything, it's that I can't handle an entire shoot by myself. It's like trying to drive through heavy traffic while eating a burrito, talking on the phone, and reading a paper, all while keeping an eye on a two-year-old in the back seat. It can be done, but not well, and if you keep it up, sooner or later you're going to crash and burn. I simply cannot manage the lighting, run the camera, record sound, conduct an interview, and keep the bigger vision in the back of my mind simultaneously, and in trying I end up making gross errors which inevitably lead to my berating myself in the edit.

The one heartbreaking thought that always recurs: I can do so much better.

But maybe, if fate smiles and the planets align, I might have the opportunity soon. There's potential coming up to collaborate with others, and I think we could eventually do some blistering work together.

But we'll see how that turns out later -- I'm always loathe to talk about it too much, since in the past it has always fallen through. In the meantime, I've got to turn 30-some-odd hours of flawed tape into three minutes that hints at the kind of work I'm capable of doing. It sounds possible on the surface of it, doesn't it?
10:39 PM ::
Amy :: permalink
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