Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Progress Report #4

... not that I've made much progress since the last one. I've been at the Fnorders job for almost a week now -- strange to think that a week ago I was getting ready to go in for an interview, and now I'm all trained up and verging on getting bored with it. But whatever, it's a job, and it's a pretty easy job, so that's all fine. I just stand behind a register with my little walkie-talkie and earpiece, scanning the stuff and pitching the Fnorders Reward program (the worst part of the job), and occasionally I get to go tidy up a section and make the spines of all the books flush with the front of the shelves. And that's about it, really. The customers are mostly fine, the other employees are pretty nice, and it kills the time.

The only irony is that now I have a job with a good discount on something I'd actually buy, and I'm too broke to afford anything. Even at 33-40% off.

But whatevs -- it'll do for now, and now that I don't have to spend every day looking for a job, I'm starting to relax into my life here. And when I say, "starting to relax into my life here," I really mean, "starting to think about what more I can be doing." I know that what I should really be doing is hunting down every reputable video post-production house in the city and goading/pleading/begging/cajoling them until they give me some kind of work to do -- but I don't even know how to begin doing that. I have a couple of potential sources of help around, but I don't want to be reliant upon them to help me get started; this is something I should be able to do on my own. But what do I say to the people I approach? How do I get their attention long enough to make my case? I'm convinced that the "proper channels" have been specifically designed to block my access to any and all of the work I want to do -- the cover letter and resume combo, however artfully constructed, has never gotten me anywhere close to where I want to be. I can make a good case for myself in person, and the people I've worked for in the past have almost always come away wanting me to work for them again. But how do I get to a place where I can prove myself? That's the puzzle I'm trying to work out now.

I try to think about what I'd be looking for if I were the one being approached, what has gotten my interest on the occasions when I've been approached by others in the past. And I can say that I have this much going for me: I'm not trying to get into this industry for the sake of glamor or ego or to get chicks; I'm doing it because I love the medium, want to know how it works in intimate detail, want to spend my life trying to further the art form and make a contribution to it. I've done my time in the trenches of indie ignominy, and if I'm still hacking doggedly through this jungle after all these years, anyone who takes me in can feel confident that I'm not going to jump ship when the work gets too hard or the rewards too meager. My skills are less than they might be, but it's not for lack of ability -- I have the capacity to do excellent work, and need only time to practice and learn to get there. Sooner or later I'm going to claw my way in, and whoever it is that gives me my chance will earn my loyalty and dedication as well as the produce of my labor, so someone might as well go ahead and claim me and start making use of what I have to offer. And I'm not too proud to fetch coffee if I have to.

All I want is somewhere to sit and learn. And maybe someone who knows what they're doing to critique my work. I know there's someone in this city who would give me a chance to do that, but how the fuck do I find them, and how do I convince them to give me fifteen minutes to explain why they really want me around? I have absolutely no idea where to start.

PS: I realized today that in the last week I've only used a quarter of a tank of gas -- a damn good thing, too, since we're up to about $3.20/gal. here. (And before you start, yes, I know very well that that's still cheap by world standards. But seriously, $3.20 in November? I shudder to think what it'll be come June. It's my intention not to be buying any gas at all by then.)
11:00 PM ::
Amy :: permalink