Friday, January 18, 2008
A Futile Attempt To Avoid Going To Work

So, apparently there's going to be a party at my house tonight.

I wasn't consulted beforehand. I'm not pissed off about it or anything -- my current roomies are among the best I've had, found by sheer luck, and I wouldn't begrudge them a party if that's what they want. I wouldn't half mind hanging out with some new people, though just at the moment I'm probably not in the best frame of mind to make the most of it. At 10 o'clock tonight, when I'm just getting home from a ten-hour day of listening to the mind-bogglingly stupid questions of a hundred different strangers, there are things I would rather find waiting for me than a house full of more strangers, except this time with alcohol.

But I will try. I'll try to sit and chat, I'll try to last for at least one or two drinks, I'll try to make it for a couple of hours before I slink off to my room and hide and try to sleep because I still have to work tomorrow. And the next day, and the day after that.

I'm just saying, if they'd asked me, I might've said that some other week would be better. But then again, it probably wouldn't, really. I don't love houses full of strangers that I'm obligated to interact with, so there isn't a "better day" for it as such... I prefer small groups of close friends, just hanging out.

But hey, maybe I'll meet a new close friend tonight, a new hanging-out friend. That would be cool. I don't really have much in the way of hanging-out friends these days -- my current friends are all grouchy. It's weird how that happens -- you meet them, and they seem sweet and open and generous, but once you know them better, it turns out they're really just grouchy. All my friends are assholes. My average friend -- if you took all my most-loved friends and averaged them all together, I mean -- is male, 6 years older than me, has a 50/50 chance of being gay, and is a total asshole. (Though not to me, because being an asshole to me would be like kicking a puppy. It's completely unnecessary, and it only serves to validate one's status as a complete and utter dick.)

It's cool, though. I love them anyway, even when they turn out to be not all that sweet or open, and really just grouchy instead, because that's the deal you make with other people if you want to be actual, genuine friends and not an acquaintance you occasionally invite to a party. If you decide to take someone into your life, even under the false pretense that they're sweet and open and generous, then you have to still love them when they turn out to be a grouchy fucking asshole instead. That is, in fact, the entire point of the exercise.

God, what a load of horseshit. And I still have to go to work. There are a hundred idiots downtown waiting for me to show them books.
12:47 PM ::
Amy :: permalink
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