Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Oh Joy! Oh Bliss!

After a six-day work week of long shifts on my feet, I have three straight days off! And better still, it looks as though the first two of them will be lovely. Today was gorgeous, and tomorrow promises to be the same. Chilly but sunny, and the days are getting noticeably longer. I had considered driving to the coast at some point to have a look around, to see what the Pacific looks like from the northwest. But it's still a bit cold to sit on the beach, and I can't really afford the gas. Give it another month or so, and then maybe it'll be time.

I've got a reasonably long post in the works, but I just don't think I can finish it off decently tonight. I've begun to fret that my posts have gotten way too sloppy over the years -- I can do so much better that this pointless blather. Maybe it's because I'm getting more exposure to good writing, if only via osmosis, that suddenly my own seems so weak by comparison. Or maybe it's just that reading always pushes me, taps into my latent passion. I've been reading a hell of a lot, as I usually do through the winter. But as January winds down, the anticipation of spring starts to creep up on me, and suddenly something in me wants to draw.

Y'know, like pictures.

I got some notice as a child for having some talent with a pencil -- or maybe they were just encouraging me, I don't know. But I think I was genuinely better than what you'd normally expect from an eight-year-old. Even now, when pressed, I can draw better than you'd expect from someone who rarely draws -- I hate my drawings, obviously, I can only see how they fall short of how I'd like to draw. But still, for someone who only picks up a pencil to doodle every couple of years and hasn't applied any effort whatsoever to developing her ability since elementary school, I'm not too bad. If I got a sketch book and started spending just a little time on it every day, in a few years I bet I'd be pretty good. In a decade, I'd probably be as good as I want to be.

If I did any of that, I mean. It's, erm, on my list.

But the significance I take from this impulse is that my creative energy has begun its gradual, seasonal return. I've spent much of the winter storing ideas like acorns in my cheek pouches (I know, eww, right?) And over the next month or two, as the days warm up and get longer, I'll start heading back to all my hidey-holes and... and...

... okay, forget the squirrel metaphor.

The point is, I've got some plans in the works. Or at least ideas for plans. And I know I won't get to all of them, probably only one or possibly two will come to any kind of fruition. But I need that fresh passion, some new influences, some life-changing experiences.

It's coming. I feel it approaching.

PS: I didn't forget, Smithers. I remembered. I was just too exhausted to do anything about it. But I didn't forget. And incidentally, all of that stuff I wrote before about grouchy assholes? You're one of the few to whom that didn't apply. I mean, don't get me wrong, you're definitely grouchy. ;) But you're also honestly open and generous, as you've proven to me consistently over eleven years. And that's why I'll always adore my Smithers.
10:27 PM ::
Amy :: permalink
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