Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Happy Fuck The Earth Day

It's been an odd sort of week. This time last week, while trying to shift some boxes of books that curiously posed no problem for me seven months ago, I fucked up my lower back but good. So all this week I've spent the first ten or fifteen minutes every day thrashing in my bed like a turtle on its back, trying to find a way to sit up that doesn't involve pain. The rest of the time I act like I'm 70 years old, groaning whenever I have to bend or twist. It's gradually getting better, but it hasn't been enjoyable. And I still have a bunch of boxes left to move.

Anyway, it's April 23, so it's time for me to inflict my annual birthday love-fest on my friend Earth, who's a bitter, crusty old son of a bitch. He's taken a generally bah-humbug approach to... well, honestly, just about everything this year, most especially birthdays and human relationships of all kinds. The last time I attempted to write something nice about/to him it just sort of sunk soundlessly into the murk.

But I have immense, abiding love for this highly-love-resistant bastard, so I'm going to do it again whether he likes it or not, just to spite him. I hope he'll take it in the spirit in which it's offered.

Earth has had an uncanny effect on my life. For reasons that have utterly nothing to do with him, and through absolutely no action or effort on his part, his presence seems to lead to my life getting better (and more frustrating, but also better.) Since I've known him, I have become happier and more content with my life, I find myself living in a place I love, with a mass of interesting, smart new friends. I've done more of my own work (though never enough for him), and my life is generally much improved. Which, as I said, has nothing to do with him at all. He hasn't done any of the work, doesn't even know any of my other friends, and restricts his active role in my day-to-day existence to a kind of contrarian grouchiness about everything and nothing. Wherever I am, it was all entirely my own doing, as will be whatever comes next. And yet... and yet. Somehow I feel a sort of quiet, humble, inexplicable gratitude to him for everything he hasn't done for me. I feel like I should be saying thank you.

So to him, I would say this: I love you, Earth, I'm glad you're around, and thanks for nothing, asshole. :)

F*ck the Earth Day - Watch more free videos

In my opinion, the Earth's gone a bit soft the past few years. What we need to do is slap it around a bit. Make Earth our bitch.

That's what I'm sayin'. Happy birthday, Earth.

PS: Go look at his photographs. They're brilliant.
1:18 PM ::
Amy :: permalink